Why newspapers are still necessary

Yesterday, Ann Arbor News printed its last edition, following the unsettling trend spearheaded by such established papers as Denver’s Rocky Mountain News, the Seattle Post-Intelligencer and the Christian Science Monitor. Maybe we don’t need newspapers to get our news, but I don’t want to swat flies with a MacBook. Other things you can’t do with a computer, but can with a newspaper:
•Paper-Mache a pinata.
•Create a megaphone for important announcements.
•Wrap gifts.
•Doodle squiggly lines on the front page while talking on the phone.
•Make a pirate hat.
Threaten Blue Dog democrats into voting for health care reform.
Wrap fish for cooking. Apparently, it cooks nicely and dinner guests can open their own package of food. Elegant.
•Assemble a ransom note.
•Kindle a fire. Kindles probably aren’t as useful. And they censor themselves.
•Make paper airplanes.
•Line a birdcage.
•Read it on Sundays without worrying about getting bagel crumbs in its keyboard.
•Find a masthead without keyword searching.
•Tear it up in frustration after another headline announces another newspaper has printed its last words.


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